I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
