he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
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Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
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I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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