Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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