I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
