if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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