look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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