I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
