Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
