I bet he comes in French.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
