i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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