Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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