Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
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I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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