Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Randomize
