Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
