I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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