All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
