sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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