just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
