Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
