I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I need a beard to bite.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
