If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
