Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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