Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
