they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
