The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
