he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
