why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I queefed so loud it echoed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
