i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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