so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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