Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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