at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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