I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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