I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
