Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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