Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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