Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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