So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
