The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
