you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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