There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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