My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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