You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
