apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm just crazy horny about you
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
