How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
