Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Randomize
