we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
