I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
