Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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