That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
