Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize