Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
