This is not my ceiling
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
