ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
