gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
