HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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