so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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