are you so shy because you have an std?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
