So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
