Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
