Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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