I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
accomplished twins. life is a go
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I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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