it was like his penis was on wheels.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
