Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
