Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
