READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
