Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
