now i know why i became what i already was.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
